The parts of parenthood that nobody tells you about

Saturday we were at a funeral. When Andy suggests I get my youngest daughter out of her carseat, I lean over and nearly pass out from the foul odor coming from somewhere near her seat. A little detective work revealed that a diaper change was in order. There were no shortage of people in attendance and there was one bathroom for both men and women. The child smelled so badly I was not about to stand in line for 45 minutes, much less air the stench for all to enjoy while I changed her on a bench. So, I took the stinky package around the back of the building, laid her on the sidewalk, and wiped her bottom with the cold winter air. Poor kid.

So then, yesterday we headed all the way across the city for an evening meeting. Annika was sleeping when it was time to go, and had been for the past several hours. We grabbed her shoes and coat and gingerly carried her from the crib to the car. We arrived late, no time for a diaper change. Halfway through, Annika moved over to Daddy's lap, and I suddenly became aware of the wet spot on my skirt. A smelly one at that. Daddy takes care of the change. Meanwhile, Keira begins to get antsy. This is nothing new, she's been eating every 1-3 hours for several weeks now. I couldn't stand the thought of nursing her AGAIN, so I made her a bottle. I have never made her a bottle before, and I don't know the tricks for shaking it up and not spilling. I've got milk on the floor and keeping company with the urine on my skirt and one flimsy little bib to mop it all up with, which was already half soaked with spitup from the last feeding. Andy returns with Annika's wet tights and as I get ready to take Keira out of her carseat, he whispers, "She needs a diaper change!" Oh goody. My nose cringes at the remembrance of the previous day's diaper episode, so I grab the supplies and head out in a hurry. The diaper is just wet, we return to the meeting, sit quietly until it's over. All is well. Until we're chatting a few minutes later, Andy picks up Annika, and I get mooned. Her diaper and her skirt are down at her knees. Then, while I'm trying to sort out the too big skirt and unfastened diaper without compromising my daughter's modesty too much, Andy asks, "What's that water on the floor over there?" Yes, that's exactly not what it was and I mopped it up with the wet tights. Suddenly I'm looking forward to the episodes of "Mommy, I hafta go potty!"

My new discovery

We've been extra concerned about fiber lately. And since the little body in need of said fiber will eat nothing but starches and an occasional piece of meat, I've made it my quest to make those starches, just a little more fibery. Alright, alright, fibrous if you must. It was in this research that I got bitten by that zany whole graininess bug that has taken hostage every Cheerios eater in America and I discovered whole wheat pastry flour. You can substitute it 1:1 for all purpose flour in cookies, cakes, pies, muffins and the like. Don't use it in yeast breads. You can read about it for yourself and learn the tricks for best results, (like letting the batter rest for 15 minutes so the whole grains have time to soak up the moisture), but I'm here to say, you totally can't tell a difference and your colon will thank you. These brownies were my first test, and it is an incredible recipe. I suggest you try them, even if you're not looking for an excuse to try out your new whole wheat pastry flour.

What happened to my baby?

Last week I was in the hospital delivering baby #2. I had a teeny weeny newborn in my arms just yesterday, I'm sure of it. When I wasn't looking, somebody replaced her with this adorable little rascal who's big enough to play in an exersaucer. Aach!

The girls and I went to the Children's Museum today. Annika had a blast and she behaved herself too. It was delightfully not crowded and we rode the carousel 3 times in a row. I was rather dizzy (I've become an old lady... I can't even ride the carousel without ill effects), but Annika was enjoying waving to anyone who would look at her.

By the way, my narrating voice has left me and has hidden under a rock. For now you're stuck with boring pictures and pointless updates about my existence. Wouldn't want you to forget about my existence.